How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
