I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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