Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
