i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We need to rekindle our bromance
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
