Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think your dad took our porno
The uberlube is also flammable
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
