he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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