I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
