I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
