i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
