ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
