The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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