I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
