its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
