3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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