My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
