Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm at about main and main street
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
