Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
