so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
