he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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