to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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