I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
