There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
