And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
