I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
