oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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