and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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