She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
