They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We have started to decorate penises.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
