Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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