We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
