So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
