you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
