Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
