He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
