I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
