We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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