erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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