honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
