So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
