I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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