Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize