'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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