i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
