if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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