I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
