Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
