He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
