will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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