We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
