I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
