I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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