how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
