Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
