I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
