this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
