You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
