Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
