I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
