thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Enjoy the penises
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
