i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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